Move Along, Nothing to See Here

This week, our guest contribution is from Bristol Wellbeing College manager Rob Wright. Offering us an insight into his experiences with depression, his poem assures that after every dip follows a rise and that out of numbness springs new sense…

Rise & Fall

I woke up in the middle of the night with the first two lines in my head. I didn’t know if they were part of a dream or just something my brain was trying to process while I slept, but I was compelled to finish the piece, right there, right then!

I have suffered from depression for a long time and although I write songs, I had never tried to explain how I felt with the written word. I can relate to Churchill’s ‘Black Dog’ as a description of its symptoms and, I guess like many others, it makes me want to shut out the world, so these ideas both feature in the piece. I also struggle and feel frustrated with the inability to do everyday things, like reading or watching TV, and I wanted to reference that as well.

Churchill black dog
Churchill and his Black Dog by George Pedder-Smith

In living with depression, one thing I have learned is that, for me, it doesn’t last forever. In a weird way, the lows do make the highs feel pretty good – I don’t say that lightly, or in any way to demean the feelings, or to put an unnecessary and even inappropriate ‘sheen on things’, but one of my Grandma’s favourite phrases springs to mind:

The good times don’t last forever, but neither do the bad times. (Doris Metcalfe, my Grandma)

Nothing To See Here

It starts with fingers of doubt
Icy fingers that reach deep
Nothing good is happening here today
Move along, nothing to see here

Words crawl across the page, without meaning
Just read it again and again
And again and again
Move along, nothing to see here

Doors stay locked, safer unopened
Best stay home now, best stay down now
The world can wait today
Move along, nothing to see here

Black dog sniffs and grunts and snaffles
He’s choosing moods today
Dark, stifling angst, or a much plainer numb
Move along, nothing to feel here

The day after doom and the flowers have grown
Those words do make sense
And the door won’t stay closed
Stay with me now, there’s definitely something to see here
Stay with me now, there’s definitely something to feel here

Depression pic

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